TA-TAH!!!!

Ya had to know it was comin.  Time magazine...attachment parenting...fervid frenzy over a boy and a boob.  What the fuck?   I was nursing number 6 when I got pregnant with 7 and continued til they both turned 4.  You think I'm mom enough? An attachment parenting freak?  I'll settle it. I'm freak enough.

When I was a kid my dad used to take us to the circus. I'd watch the beautiful costumed ladies perform and plot how I could sneak past him to join.  At night, I'd dream of becoming part of their family.  So what if there were 20 inch tall 3 legged Siamese twins?  If I were half the things my parents called me, I'd fit right in.

Eventually I ran away and now don't need 3 rings. I'm not only ringleader, but thanks to menopause, I'm the bearded lady, spitin fire and tamin lions without whips. Everyday my acrobatic mood's a high wire, wound tight rope, unbalanced act. "She-nuts! Get yer she-nuts here!"

                                                                  I love em.

My circus is a family affair, we even have sticky seats and no idea what we're sitting in. I've got more than one ex husband who'd make a perfect human cannonball.  And jugglers?  I can simultaneously make dinner, do laundry, sweep floors, load dishes, feed dogs, diagnose computer issues, answer  phones, put an end to looming battles and somedays still dream of runnin away.

We're obviously a buncha clowns, my nose keeps growing and so do my kids' feet. Tryin to get em to eat veggies is like practicin sword swallowing.  We don't have elephants, but everywhere I look there's giant assholes. And they're talented.  Ever see a asshole text?  Tickets! Get Your tickets free!

Think nursin a kid who can stand on a chair is an act of super-motherhood? Try visiting yours at the jail/prison for 16 years. Now there's some death defying shit and a whole motherlode of attachment.  It's so over the big top, I wish I had a flyin trapeze.

I breastfed a 4 year old, I'm just not mom enough to still look at myself naked.  And that's the only problem I have with Time's cover...That tit sure don't look like it's been sucked 4 years. So if not, whose the kid, where's moms' real boob and has anybody called the cops?  Doc Sears ain't no plastic surgeon so there must be some talented magicians in her show.

                                                              Cause that's more like it.

(c) copyright donna maysack 2012
pictures are property of google.