Why yes, I am, but so is my shrink. I started seeing him, when, ya know, I went into that little coma thing a couple years back and quickly realized he doesn't pay attention to anything I say. I love it. This isn't Crazy Mama delusion. It's for real. So I fuck with him, It's really fun.
The last time I didn't say word. I just nodded and/or shook my head. He has a form that rates how close you are to killing yourself, 3's bad, 0's good. So I fill it out opposite each time. "Did you even read it," he asked. I shook my head no. "You just come in for pills, don't you?" I nodded and broke my silence, "Can I leave now?"
"Yes. Just make an appointment for 6 weeks."
"How bout 6 months?"
He's the most incredible doctor I've ever had. I told him I took more pills than I was supposed to and he said, "Well I guess you'll need a refill." All I have to say is, "I read about (fill in the drug) and want some," and he prescribes it. Sometimes I wish he'd listen a little closer tho, cuz when I asked for Viagra, I experienced a rare erection lasting 4 or more hours and had to seek immediate medical attention. WTF? I know there's a lotta jokes about this, but my clit still hurts.
Today I told him I have a few followers on my blog. "Followers?," he perked up, he thought I was starting a cult.
I'm not kidding. So I told him I was and am gonna start riding around with Butman. He asked who he was. When I explained, he lifted his glasses and raised an eyebrow, "Well....," for a second I thought he was concerned, "just get your blood levels tested and take this"
"I can't take that on the moped."
"Sure you can, it's shrink wrapped."
"No, I mean, I don't take candy from strangers than me."
(c) copyright donna maysack 2012
images are googles