My son's new girlfriend's a dog.
See what I mean? He's only had 2 others and they were beautiful, but this one? I'm sure she has a great personality, is house broken and doesn't bite, but think she needs her shots and swear I saw her lick her ass when she thought no one was looking. Glad it wasn't my son's. I'm shallow, I know, judgin a dog by its collar, but what if he really falls for her? What if they get married? What if she's not spayed???
I don't want grand puppies. She already has 3 puppy daddies. And I can't even look at ugly people. I usually just look at the floor, but that doesn't help, in this case, cause she's down there! I glance, but can't look in her in the eyes without
And yes that's me, so I know ugly when I see me. I don't even look in the mirror. I wince as I walk past one but I don't have a poker face.
Ever notice the ridiculous things that come outta my mouth? Well, I spew face first. You don't have to read my lips. I'm missing the tact and bullshit genes and so is my face. I can't hide anything. Besides she has no manners, sniffs my crotch, scratches all the time, shits in the yard and digs thru our trash. I hope he knows she's not gettin into prom without a leash.
I know it shouldn't matter and could be worse. She could be a
or a slut.
She sits pretty and gives her paw so I don't mind feedin her kibbles once in awhile, but there's room for only one
round this doghouse and that spot's filled.
(c) boredashell 2012
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