My son's new girlfriend's a dog.
See what I mean? He's only had 2 others and they were beautiful, but this one? I'm sure she has a great personality, is house broken and doesn't bite, but think she needs her shots and swear I saw her lick her ass when she thought no one was looking. Glad it wasn't my son's. I'm shallow, I know, judgin a dog by its collar, but what if he really falls for her? What if they get married? What if she's not spayed???
I don't want grand puppies. She already has 3 puppy daddies. And I can't even look at ugly people. I usually just look at the floor, but that doesn't help, in this case, cause she's down there! I glance, but can't look in her in the eyes without
And yes that's me, so I know ugly when I see me. I don't even look in the mirror. I wince as I walk past one but I don't have a poker face.
Ever notice the ridiculous things that come outta my mouth? Well, I spew face first. You don't have to read my lips. I'm missing the tact and bullshit genes and so is my face. I can't hide anything. Besides she has no manners, sniffs my crotch, scratches all the time, shits in the yard and digs thru our trash. I hope he knows she's not gettin into prom without a leash.
I know it shouldn't matter and could be worse. She could be a
or a slut.
She sits pretty and gives her paw so I don't mind feedin her kibbles once in awhile, but there's room for only one
round this doghouse and that spot's filled.
imjustkidding
(c) boredashell 2012
images are googles
20 comments:
OMGosh hilarious! I've lost three daughter in laws in the last year, so I don't think that alone disqualifies me to give advice- maybe she is another one of his phases he is going through. :) Loved the posting!
I just found your Blog recently and I have to say that it's the best I've seen in a very long time. I spent the better part of my day the other day just reading through your posts, totally entertained. I'm sure I pissed everyone off in my house by doing so but hey...it's better to be pissed off than pissed on right? LOL
Great blog!
Gossip Girl, How'd you lose em? Set em lose in the field? Throw trats out the back door and lock it? Come on now...help me out.
Thank you Jennifer. Having had personal experience with both, I agree it's better to be pissed off. I visited your blog and found it to be both entertaining and original. I'm honored to have you here.
Three different baby daddies, huh? Is there any way to sprinkle some birth control into dinner before you serve it? My son has a for real girlfriend now and she has been coming over quite a bit...she finally started talking to us and seems okay so far...fingers crossed.
I'm laughing so hard..... she's not too pretty, is she? I know it's bad, but it could be worse! Like, my husband is having an affair and she frkn lives under the same roof as me. What nerve! Sad thing is...she's tiny. she's prettier than me. And she's funny. She makes him laugh constantly. they snuggle. They go for walks. He buys her gifts. I think he loves her more than me.
Elsie, Good idea! Maybe I can sprinkle something in her kibble and sneak her to the vet.
Robin, I want a picture!!!
Oh, crazy mama...I'm speaking of REAL LIFE, REAL PUPPY LOVE....(literally). You can see Penny in my latest post. LOL
So she's not very good looking ... maybe you just need to take her to the groomers. I'm sure a flea dip and a clipping will work wonders.
Just put your foot down those baby daddies aren't part of the package, honestly I think you could take her, she does your boy wrong I say kick her to the curb and claim she ran off. I didn't notice any tags lol
Spew face first, good one, CrazyMama!! Don’t mean to judge a dog by its collar but the one in that top pic is butt-ugly LOL! But I bet she has a great personality and look at those big bug eyes! So did your son really bring home a new dog? Btw, love the boredashell LOL!!
Ha, you're right Janice, but should I pour acid in my eyes in the meantime?
Oh Robin, I knew that. And I had seen your cutie pie, I just forgot. Puppy and truck. Very cute. Hope you're not too jealous. Haha
JerseyLil, No he didn't, I'm just boredashell!
Yeah Kellie, I'm sure it's nothing a world renowned plastic surgeon can't improve!
I bet she gives great French kisses. Have you got a pet raccoon she could practice on?
I'll have to remember the "I spew face" comment, because I do the same. My hubby will love that one.
On a sidenote, I nominated you and your blog for the Sparkly Award. Info is on my last post. Have a great day!
Gorilla, I'd send her out back to find one, but I don't think she's had her shots. I don't need any more rabid teenagers around here.
Sandra, It's awful, I can't hide a thing! My face says it all before I say a word. Sorry to hear you're similarly afflicted. Thank you so much for the award.
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