Menopause isn't just hot, it's a mess.
I wouldn't mind losing my looks if I didn't have to gain so much ugly.
If you have a hot flash under a hair dryer, you ignite. Don't try it.
It's like doin the cinnamon challenge with your head.
Just cuz you can fit into a bikini doesn't mean you should.
Everybody's beautiful til you hate em.
I forgot to disconnect my doorbell.
It woke us all this morning.
No honey, that's not a monster under your bed. It's just a cop.
Don't be scared, she's just looking for a gun.
People criticize me and say I enable my felon.
So let me take this opportunity to tell him, "Bad! Bad! Stop! I mean it!"
He never listens.
I bet it'll work this time.
Everybody's beautiful in their own mind.
You think I gotta enough stress?
Cause there's some bitch asses and some ass ex's who don't.
Everybody's beautiful til they decay.
Tuesday I testify.
I just found out last night.
I'm scared.
I've been playin a new, bad game called, "Weekend Surprise."
I don't make the rules, but apparently this was bonus weekend.
I saw a thug runnin from the cops at night.
He was wearin light up shoes.
Fepic Ail!
There's alotta fish shit in the sea.
"Everybody's beautiful," said my ass.
"Everybody's beautiful," said my ass.
Nobody collected their award.
I'm not invited to the Vanity Fair Hollywood Party.
I never even heard of it til tonight.
When you're invited, you've made it.
I didn't make it, I bought it, used.
I'm gonna craft my ass.
I'm not invited to the Vanity Fair Hollywood Party.
I never even heard of it til tonight.
When you're invited, you've made it.
I didn't make it, I bought it, used.
I'm gonna craft my ass.
Crochet a gun rack.
Stir up a recipe for misanthropy.
And tip a toddler.
And tip a toddler.
My addiction is worsening, I started snorting cigarettes. It really burns.
It's a good thing they didn't find a gun here cuz I probly woulda fought em for it.
Everybody's beautiful except in a bikini.
I found a blog where the woman writes about wakin happy.
She doesn't know anyone who still uses Crisco.
I'm gonna just let that go.
After adding that I'm relieved I don't have to grease up when I shove my boot up her ass.
We're not such happy wakers.
I visited the jail tonight. My offender told me his new cellmate isn't a criminal.
Well, if he's not a criminal he can't be a attorney, so he must be a cop. Shut the fuck up.
Everybody's beautiful til they show you who they really are, then there's just a few.
@copyright donna Maysack 2013
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8 comments:
CrazyMama, right on about menopause! I’d have flashes so hot I swear I could have ignited a hair dryer. You should have seen me taking off layers of clothes in stores and fanning myself, made store clerks nervous LOL!! About testifying, that one’s no joke and I truly hope it goes OK. Don’t blame you for being scared. Just go on, catching up with your posts. Btw, I’m pretty cranky when I wake up, especially before I have my coffee!!
JerseyLil, I waas under a hair dryer and I was dripping sweat and getting really cranky. Gotta go have my hair done in a few weeks. I hope it doesn't happen again. I felt like I was being baked. The best part of waking up isn't a cop looking under your kid's beds. I cried all day.
CrazyMama, I am so sorry you had to wake up that way, that sucks!! Being under a dryer and getting a hot flash is really miserable. What helped me was to freeze a bottle of water, take that with me, and keep it near to hold when it got unbearable. I used to carry frozen water around with me a lot!
JerseyLil That is a good idea, but unless it was surgically implanted, I'd lose it. Things are really bad here, so put up some funnies. My heart is broken and my back full of knives.
Mama.. If I really was magical I'd wave a magic wand and give you the happy, stress free life you DESERVE. A good friend of mine is going "away" for a few years. I don't know why. It had nothing to do with harming women and/or children, no one was killed so I don't care why. She's my friend. There seems to be a lot of these situations happening more and more and the punishments never fit the crime. As always Mama.. I keep you and your family in my prayers. I pray for you to be strong because you have so much to hold up and I don't know why and to be honest with you it does make me upset with God but I pray still because He's all I've got for you.. Hugs..
Wow MiMi, I'm sorry to read about your friend. I hope she'll be close enough to visit. These cops say they have all this evidence and are gonna charge him, but they're goin all over town lookin for something they don't have. There's no way to know if he'll be sent to prison again for years. If they have their way, he will. The hearing Tuesday will be for his revocation and he's been in jail for most of his parole, so that part will be done. MiMi, thank you for your prayer. You may not be magical, but are one of the beautiful.
I hate cops. I'm sure there are good ones out there but I've never met one and because I've met all the douche bags I'll never give the good one a chance. Whatever. Better safe than sorry with their protect and serve bullshit. - I'll be praying extra hard for you on Tuesday.. - And thank you about my friend. I'll be closer once I move back to Idaho, only a 9 hour drive but I'll make it as often as I can, two or three times a month at least. It's so weird, everybody wants to know all the details and all I can think is, she's my friend and I love her. I don't need to know the details. I know her. She's in jail right now waiting for the sentencing. She's def going "away.." Just don't know for how long yet, maybe 10, maybe 3.. Ya' know Mama. I don't know if I'm one of the beautiful but I know I'm one of the loyal and I always do what I can do.. Thank you..
Thanks MiMi, I gotta go now. I'm so tired.
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