Really? You're gonna replace me with, "Basic Stitch Crochet Blog Hop?" I'll have you know my vagina can cluster, lace and is particularly skilled at the 'v' stitch (not really) but she was toying with the vaginal mesh implant until all those lawsuits starting swirling.
Vaginas make some folks nervous, even cringe. They know it's there, but keep it down. Mine's offended so many you'd think I asked em to lick it. What the fuck? Chill out. You have one too and if ya don't, you're probly a dick.
Does it make ya itchy? Does it make ya antsy? Got ants in your panties? Maybe that's what's wrong with mine. I hate that word. I bet everyone who's scared of my vagina, wears panties, with ruffles. Pussies! Unfortunately for them, I don't even wear underwear, so mine's been free ballin for years.
Hers are such rebellious balls you unfriend me, but how could my vagina be more uncomfortable for you than me? I didn't make up the word. If I had, I'd have called it ginger or candy, but we're stuck with vagina, Latin for sheath which ought to make guys feel pretty good. I've never seen a dick as big as a sword....unless you count Lego guys.
So come on, stretch it out, relax, do some kegals. It's ok to like my vagina, I do and God knows she's friendlier than she should be and way nicer than me. She even talks to strangers. To her, they're just friends she hasn't fucked yet.
Look, it's outta my hands, I've known her all my life. I tried to tame her, sent her to boot camp, got her a personal trainer, paid for therapy, she does what she wants. She's like a kid. The more you tell her to stop, the louder she gets. She even holds her breath to get her way.
That's not her, she's far less furry and never coughs up hair balls. Her mantra may be, "Well behaved vaginas seldom make history," but really she's quite harmless. So close your eyes or get a grip cause she's not goin anywhere. I mean, if she did I'd have to go with. She'd never make it out there without me. Anyway I have a hard time believing my vagina is obscene when they can't even make a bandaid big enough to cover Honey's Boo-Boo....I gotta go tho, she's sittin on the Legos again.
@copyright donna maysack 2013
images are from google
21 comments:
I just awoke, having finally gone to bed at 9 am and the first thing I'm faced with is your vagina!
BlogUpp? Really? They're lucky people are still signing up to them for all the good they do.
Jeez, you've written a lot worse then a post about your Lady Garden!!
These people need to get a grip (preferably on their vajayjays, it might chill em out some) and go back to the nunnery from when they came.
Sorry, every morning I have to face her too Lily. Why were you up til 9am?
Every woman needs a skilled vagina lol! Love your line about how she’s so friendly, she even talks to strangers b/c they’re just friends she hasn’t fucked yet! That one had me rolling LOL! OMG, CrazyMama, you can really write. Can’t believe you were replaced by crochet kitties. You are way more interesting! Don’t know where I am in the BlogUpp standings anymore, I should check.
Well if they can't handle your vagina then they definitely can't handle the rest of your blog. I love that you set her free from the chains of underwear and let her explore the world on her own. I would do that but after all these kids I'm afraid some vital part I really need might fall out and I don't know exactly how to make a missing parts report to the police so I have to wear the panties. You do keep her powdered up, don't you? It's a must, it will build her confidence.
Thank you Jersey, she's getting an inferiority complex, but stabbed herself with the knitting needles.
Love the Honey Boo Boo reference. lol
Love the Honey Boo Boo reference. lol
Thanks for stopping by Izzy.
Ha PJ, I think I saw you at Hellmart wearing clothes????
Aw honey, I don't know what their problem is. Vagina is the new black! All the cool kids are talkin' vagina. You tell 'em you're too cool and too vaginal for their judgemental-ness. Hell, any post that puts jesus and vagina in the same sentence rocks my world. Can I get an amen and a fresh feeling? I wanted to tell you I started a Monday blog hop and I want you to come on over and link up - now I want you to link up even more because I would love to have this on my site!
Thanks mod mom. I have no idea how to hop or challenge, but my vagina and I will try.
The stresses of life, make me unable to sleep. Plus my illness ensures that I don't EVER reach the stages of deep sleep. So I'm like a bone-fide Zombie but without the penchant for brains.
Oh Lily, you just need to swallow the 7 pills a night that I do. Then you're guaranteed at least 3 hours unless a teen ager is afoot.
My Blog was #1 for like months on Blog upp, sometimes I would slip to #2 but only for a minute. UNTIL...Google released their new image search and things just went all to hell. LOL Well not really hell I'm at #3 now but this crochet person is on my last nerve. LOL I mean really? How much weight does Blog upp carry when the top spot is about crochet stitches? I would feel better being topped by a vagina. LOL
Hey Jennifer, First of all congratulations!!! But seriously, number 3, that's not hell. They don't even let me on their site now, so I'll see ya a vagina and raise ya a clitoris, except you have to wait if you wanna do that cuz mines on vaca in Libia. Well, it's not really a vacation, she's having cosmetic surgery. She wants to lose the camel toe and update to Barbary Sheep. I probly need to go buy bigger pants.
LOL LOL LOL
Oh and I can deal with #3, shit I am just happy to be there but it's that crochet thing that just keeps spinning in my head. LOL
Dear Donna,
first off, thank you for being a part of our blogger community and congrats for building yourself a passionate community on your blog.
While we are proud to know you are in, it's also true that we strive to keep our community blogs family-friendly. In this context we consider very carefully the blogs that are flagged with inappropriate content (which happened in your case).
Your blog positioning should be restored gradually, provided the content to follow is in line with community guidelines.
Thank you for your understanding, and enjoy your blogging.
Valer, My vagina is really family friendly, where do you think all these kids came from?
Now that Donna is exactly what I would have emailed back to Valer!
You only saw me once wearing normal clothes to Walmart and I ask for prayer before I did it, you never know when some 400lb woman with her tits hanging out and her ass crack showing because her gown doesn't fit properly will attack and kick your ass. I was frightened.
Uh, PJ, that was me
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