Being the sheltered alien I am, I've never seen a sex tape or movie. I so don't want to watch people fuck. I don't even want to see them kiss. Last summer 2 giant tortoises were fucking at the zoo and I didn't even know what they were doing. My kids did, but I was just like, "Wow I've never heard them make those sounds before," (or smile like that either).
I think people are hypocrites and am thinking of joining Gorilla in the jungle. I can't say fuck or vagina, but people pay to watch vaginas fucking? WTF? Anyway, no matter where ya spend your dough, I really think celebrities should use more cabs and stop fucking on tape.
I know some women have used hotel beds to jump start careers, but lots of very famous people have had long careers without tape fucking. For example, Santa, Jesus, both Obamas, Red Skelton, Tom Jones, and Benji never had a sex tape. And if you do, chances are it will come back to bite your ass on tape. Your digital sex will outlive your celebrity. You don't have to have a sex change, if ya have a sex tape, you already fucked yourself. If you must fuck on tape use Scotch or Duck, or at least audio cause then you have some chance in hell pretending it isn't you.
So far there is no, 'My Nightmare Sex Tape Reality Show'. It's more likely you'll end up on Pinsky's show and they're loadin guns in the mornin, shootin dogs in the evenin over there. Do it for your dog man, turn the fuckin camera off. If you already shot the load, kill your lover and eat the tape. I mean, eat your lover and kill the tape. Either way it's a wrap. I don't wanna witness your body of evidence or crime scene. CUT!!!!! And please, for the sake of my vision, don't go into reproduction.
@copyright idontwannaseeyoufuck 2013
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12 comments:
Hahahahaha! Duct tape or scotch tape?? Niice. - And as far as courts go.. What happens between you and God stays between you and God..
I heard Paris Hilton made one too. A feminist writer said it was really cool of her to look bored when a guy was eating her out. How difficult is it to look bored when someone is eating you out, Crazy Mama?
P.S. Thanks for the mention. You'd be welcome in the jungle if you don't mind female gorillas touching your butt in a friendly way.
You mean you've never seen the infamous Santa/Jesus/Tom Jones sex tape?
I suppose one bored pussy is another's orgasm Gorilla. Paris Hilton was born lookin bored unless there's always someone under there eating her out. You're most welcome for the mention., as you always give me so much to ponder. Now I'll ponder other girls touching my butt.
Then i have no worries, MiMi.
No Kellie, I haven't, have you?
Jeez, I don't wanna watch myself on a sex tape, let alone watch anyone else.
I really want to make a comment on the Santa/Jesus/Tom Jones sex tape but Satan has already booked me a one way ticket to hell for when I die. I don't want to hurry up the process.
I know Lily, but I saw Tommy fucking Santa Claus.
Good advice for Kim K! I am so-o sick of all the attention she gets! Yes, many famous folks (and Benji and Lassie) have had long careers without sex tapes. It always comes back to bite them in the ass and it should!! OMG, the copyright cracked me up!
jerseyLil, Benji and Lassie both had dignity. Lots of action, but never degraded themselves.
I'm still holding out on the Obama's, there is still time for one to surface, makes me gag just thinking of it.
Oh Pj, You don't really think they have sex, do you?
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