If I had a boner, he'd be polite and never shove himself to the back. What is up with that anyway? Maybe the boners I've had were just extra large or my mouths too short, but guys, if she's gaggin and choking, somebody's not enjoying themselves as much as they could be. Just sayin, breathing is vital to a good blow job and sustains life, which is also vital to a good blow job cause dead just lies there (I mean, I imagine they do). You know you've gone too far when her nose and eyes are runnin. You think she's cryin cause she's overwhelmed with lust? She's suffocating, you idiot. That flailing isn't a signal to shove her head down further.
Obviously the Chinese get it. Seriously, can you imagine shoving your vagina down some guys throat? What the fuck? Why are all good boners attached to only a few good men? My boner and me would play hide and seek with Gina.
For entertainment purposes I'd name him, "'Bubbles," enhance him with a tutu and teach him to play the click clack (Kellie says Bob plays his). He'd do a lengthening and widening exercise video with Richard Simmons cause somethin about him makes me think he needs it. I think it's his fro, or it could be that dress. What the fuck?
Never mind, he's as envious as me and so is his butt. I'll just pump it up.
Second thought, I don't need another dork in jail. My boner would be a star tho. He'd go on Broadway, perform in Cats, then to the Vanity Fair Boner Party and bitch slap Hef. Wouldn't it be fuckin awesome to see Hef get slapped in the face by a big dick in a tutu? I think so. Then Oprah would wanna interview him, but he'd just be cocky and find out if she swallows. I'll bet she doesn't. At the end of the day, he'll disclose he wants to rock, but is too ridged to rap. A-HA!!!!
@copyright donna maysack 2013
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16 comments:
Mental note: Do not read Mama's blog when you're sick. Laughing causes coughing fits and leakage! :) Omg.. A dick in a tutu slapping Hef! I would pay to see that!
You know MiMi, I would too. Get better.
I'm I the only one who finds Richard Simmons on a par with clowns, ie scary?!
I agree with Mimi. This blog should carry a health warning:
"Reading 'Can't keep it in no more' when ill, may lead to coughing, leakage and possible death..."
Get well soon Mimi!
Okay, maybe not the last one.
Oh Lily, he's scarier than a clown. He's on his tip-toes. He couldn't mange that in clown shoes.
Oh honey, you can totally have your very own boner ... and all for the bargain price of $39.95 from any adult store.
I don't buy boner Kellie. What kinda girl do you think I am (be quiet MiMi)
In my teens I had an 'involuntary' problem. I went to the pharmacy and was embarrassed to find an elderly lady serving behind the counter.
When I summoned up enough courage I asked what she could give me for a permanent boner and she offered me a car and $500
That was You??? Now I'm embarrassed.
I just. Can't. I'm so happy that I have found you. (and I totally wish someone would shove a vagina down my throat)
You can't what? I feel like I've found myself only you're a monkey with six-fingers. You really don't want a vagina down your throat, you won't be able to breathe.
I get you monkey. And I think you get me too.
I don't want to breathe (for, like 36 wet seconds) and... I can't handle it. You. Maybe it's the full-moon... and these six fingers? Motherfucking MAGIC.
Throw it away...interesting. I think you may be on to something. Hurry up and patent this before Ron Propeel gets "hold" of it. Disposaboner! And I wanna hear PETER, Paul and Mary sing "If I Had A Boner".
hahaha Mod Mom. I've had that damn song in my head for 2 days. That and, "We Could Be Boners Just For One Day."
It's not the moon Monkey.
I'm laughing so hard I can't even comment on this one.....
Well that's a nice thing to say Pj.
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