When your womb hands ya lemons, ya make teenagers. Ha ha God! Such a prankster! Could ya knock it off now? What'da I look like? I must be wearing the bad punchline suit. Had I known teenagers were the fruit of my womb, I'd have kept my cherry, put on some underwear and had a cucumber.
I decided I'm gonna dress up like a vagina for Halloween. I'll scar em up for life. Sit on the porch and scare em away. It's role-reversal. They scare me all the fuckin time. They came outta my womb, now da womb's gonna take em out. Hell, I might just order a one now and drive em to school in it. It'd fit better than the punchline.
Course I'd have to order the extra stretchy Spandex, menopausal one with the missing clit. But who needs a clit at my age? I'm older than mold. Ya wanna know why? Cause they're not fuckin teenagers, they're mom agers! Everyone of those kids has put at least 70 years on me. I'm 350 years old. I'm Biblical!!! And not in a good way.
Online the other day, I got an idea, "Mom Of 3 Loses 100 Pounds," but my neighbor brought em back. Oh judge me Judy! Try walkin 10 miles of bad road in my bathrobe. I do it. Everyday. Just to piss em off. And if I find my clit, I'm gluin it on the outside! How do ya like me now, womb fruit?
@copyright donna maysack 2013
google images
I decided I'm gonna dress up like a vagina for Halloween. I'll scar em up for life. Sit on the porch and scare em away. It's role-reversal. They scare me all the fuckin time. They came outta my womb, now da womb's gonna take em out. Hell, I might just order a one now and drive em to school in it. It'd fit better than the punchline.
Course I'd have to order the extra stretchy Spandex, menopausal one with the missing clit. But who needs a clit at my age? I'm older than mold. Ya wanna know why? Cause they're not fuckin teenagers, they're mom agers! Everyone of those kids has put at least 70 years on me. I'm 350 years old. I'm Biblical!!! And not in a good way.
Online the other day, I got an idea, "Mom Of 3 Loses 100 Pounds," but my neighbor brought em back. Oh judge me Judy! Try walkin 10 miles of bad road in my bathrobe. I do it. Everyday. Just to piss em off. And if I find my clit, I'm gluin it on the outside! How do ya like me now, womb fruit?
@copyright donna maysack 2013
google images
10 comments:
I'm glad none of those fruits is a banana. How about using one of those grape pips as a prosthetic clit?
Gorilla then I can have my clit and eat it too!
You dress up as a vagina you better post pics!
I'm doing this comment again, cause I got a funky service error, so if it's a duplicate, disregard it and move on to sewing that vagina costume. Your time is valuable.
Anyway...I said in the last one that we should start our own band called "Spandex Vajay". *cymbal crash*
That is why the number on my scale keeps going up. As the pre-teens turned to actual teens they packed the pounds on me. Sometimes those are some pounds I want to lose also. Any diet tips for that one?
Vagina Halloween Costume? You should patent that! Or maybe Larry Flint already has the rights.
FUNNY post!
Oh Mod mom, I can't sing or play anything. maybe I could manage it.
Thanks JR, I'll think about that.
CrazyMama, I love the line “When your womb hands ya lemons, ya make teenagers.” I don’t have kids but my sister would agree (the one whose son likes to moon out school bus windows and get thrown out of school!!). Dressing up as a vagina is brilliant, that would give those blog haters and BlogUpp folks a heart attack!! Yes!
Ha Jersey, when you told me he did that I imagined he was outside the bus. I'm glad I didn't see it. I just don't like random naked butts popping out. If ya wanna be a naked butt, go somewhere with other like minded butts. Like Gorilla Bananas. Remember that scooter guy with the cape from out here? If you google him, he's becoming a cult like around town I know we're gonna run into his fat ass this summer. I even got a comment on my post defending his big fat cellulite assiness.
Ok MiMi, I'll hide the camera in the hole.
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