2) They don't eat kid's toys either (puppies excluded, you're not one).
3) They crap outdoors ON GRASS, NOT DECKS!
4) They pee on trees, not carpet or workmen's tarps!
5) It's extraordinarily rude to pee on guests especially those working for free!!!!!
(and a reminder for next Christmas, that's not a real tree in the living room).
6) Good dogs stay off my beds.
7) Only those who can wipe their own ass can be there.
8) And I mean on toilet paper, not carpet.
9) Good dogs don't leave their food all over the floor.
10) You're a fuckin dog, you're supposed to eat all floor food.
11) Good dogs notify us when visitors arrive and, if necessary, take action.
12) They don't notify me when I arrive. I live here, remember?
13) That goes for the kids too.
14) Good dogs might ask for food, but never manipulate.
15) Yours is on the floor, check number 10 to find out what to do.
16) Good dogs don't smell like you
or at least improve after a bath.
17) Good dogs don't dart out the the door and into the street.
18) Our last one did and got a fast ride all the way to Rainbow Bridge.
Now I'll let you decide, have you been good?
(p.s. good dogs don't lie)
(c) copyright donna maysack
google images
12 comments:
LOL! As compared to good cats, where the only rule is they don't kill you in your sleep or try to take over the world ... again.
Well my lit'l Luci doesn't eat books or toys. She pees and poops on grass unless no one sees her standing at the door then she goes in the bathroom and she's very good at alerting me when anybody and everybody is approaching, oh, and she does eat her own food but only after she throws it in the living room and then rolls on top of it but she doesn't like those brown triangles. :)
Well Kellie, send that cat over here, my dog needs to be killed in his sleep or at least taken over.
Mimi, what brown triangles?
Good post and excellent points about what a good dog should do. As a dog owner, I totally agree with you!! My dogs are pretty good and well trained, but I guess I’ve been lucky considering 2 of them were adopted as older dogs. Princess (my husky gone since 2008) would get into the kitchen trash but I got that under control by moving it where she couldn’t reach it. I also had to train her to stay off the bed, I don’t allow dogs on beds, I have allergies. When Roscoe was a puppy, he ate stuff around the house and once ate a Frisbee, but eventually that stopped. The only pee in the house issues I’ve had were with senior dogs as a result of old age. Love the Dog Christmas cartoon!
After checking out this list I need to go and buy myself a 'good doggie'. Dogs are such great animals. Thanks for the tips, ha ha ha.
Yeh jerseyLil, I always said even a good dog can't resist chicken in the garbage can!
Hi Rum Punch, can you buy me one too?
Haha! #12 reminds n=me of my little Louie. Mind you the dog was stupid, that if we ever had gotten burgled, he would have licked the burglars to death. Also he thought he was a parrot but that's a story for another day...or maybe not.
Oh I got stupid, he doesn't even know he's a dog. and I'm not sure either, Lady Lily
Both my dogs flunked except the don't chew anything, but that wasn't enough to bring up their scores. I just have bad dogs!
Me too PJ, but where have all the good ones gone?
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