I'm way too tired to be a stand up comedian. I'd have to lie down.
Q) Name some 4 letter bad mommy words.
A) Cook, wash, wake, snow, home, kids, play, work, dust, bake, feed, yell.
Q) What do you need if you get angry over Amercian Idol or DWTS?
Q) What'd ya get when you mix a bitch and an asshole?
Q) Where do all the lost erections go?
A) I don't know, but am bookin a flight.
Q) What do you call spam on twitter?
Q) What if your blog's on twiter?
Q) But if Spam's your dinner?
A) You're at the county.
Q) How do you use your DVR on menopause?
A) Record, save and play him back when you're in a better mood
Q) How to cope with menopausal chin and tit hair?
A) Donate it to stubble of love.
Q) What will I be when I get my scooter?
A) A dangerous bitch on wheels.
Q) What did Tiny Tim and Richard Simmons have in common?
A) They both tip toed around two lips and preferred bulbs.
Q From Yahoo, "What is SJP wearing on her feet?"
Oh gimme a fucking break, Yahoo. And btw, "wow," isn't a verb.
Q) How do you make a house a home?
A) Use me.
Q) How do ya make a home a ho?
A) Take me away.
Q) What happened when Eric Tile went to the doctor for his dicks function?
A) They told him he had ED.
Q) Why did Eric get pissed with the contractor?
A) He laid Mrs. Tile
(My first attempt at lie down comedy, please don't be mean because I can still tase you from bed).
@copyright imjustfuckinaround 2013