I'm way too tired to be a stand up comedian. I'd have to lie down.
Q) Name some 4 letter bad mommy words.
A) Cook, wash, wake, snow, home, kids, play, work, dust, bake, feed, yell.
Q) What do you need if you get angry over Amercian Idol or DWTS?
Q) What'd ya get when you mix a bitch and an asshole?
A) Co-parents.
Q) Where do all the lost erections go?
A) I don't know, but am bookin a flight.
Q) What do you call spam on twitter?
A) Spitter.
Q) What if your blog's on twiter?
A) Bitter.
Q) But if Spam's your dinner?
A) You're at the county.
Q) How do you use your DVR on menopause?
A) Record, save and play him back when you're in a better mood
Q) How to cope with menopausal chin and tit hair?
A) Donate it to stubble of love.
Q) What will I be when I get my scooter?
A) A dangerous bitch on wheels.
Q) What did Tiny Tim and Richard Simmons have in common?
A) They both tip toed around two lips and preferred bulbs.
Q From Yahoo, "What is SJP wearing on her feet?"
A) Hooves.
Oh gimme a fucking break, Yahoo. And btw, "wow," isn't a verb.
Q) How do you make a house a home?
A) Use me.
Q) How do ya make a home a ho?
A) Take me away.
Q) What happened when Eric Tile went to the doctor for his dicks function?
A) They told him he had ED.
Q) Why did Eric get pissed with the contractor?
A) He laid Mrs. Tile
(My first attempt at lie down comedy, please don't be mean because I can still tase you from bed).
@copyright imjustfuckinaround 2013
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10 comments:
Hahaha! NOW I know what to do with my excess facial hair! Stubble of love!! Classic! - And more fluids out my nose!!!! Omg.. You're killin' me smalls! :)
MiMi, you been sick all week. Time to get better now.
Fuck. Awesome. Tease me.
I can't tease you anymore Monkey, you have a half naked painter in your bathroom.
Tase me all you want. It's the only thrill I'm gonna get around here.
Hilarious as always. :)
I thought you had some cop spanking you Lily? And I was only gonna tase you if you were mean, but I like you too much. This was my lie down comedy debut!
Lie down comedy...Love it!! Had me laughing out loud! Like the clever rhymes too. Btw, I hate Spam, both the online stuff AND that crap in the can we ate as kids!!! Keep writing! :)
Spam is really popular in Hawaii Jersey, so when we go there soon, we'll have to watch it.
I think I might need a good tasing...or at least a good cop that carries one. So funny, great debut!
I will tase you PJ if you ever come back.
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