LOSE YOURSELF AND LIGHTEN UP

i see what you mean
and seen enough
i'll never be that
and i am too rough


but i won't have a seat
because they act nice
or take their shit
and shut my mouth


all this hysterical humor
my god only knew
mommies are boring
and write like they're two


so full of themselves
pullin strings
schemin schemes
above all of us

fakin life
soundin better
thinkin you know
what the fuck I should do
even when I know
better than you


33 years is a long a time at the same job
all day and night long
i learned a few things
i saved a few lives


i've learned to let go
of people i love
that's the hardest thing i know

i shower when they're peekin

cuz soon they'll be grown

and it doesn't matter

if i pee alone

try to imagine how it would be
if you never had him
or one day was gone

you don't want to be a sobbing mom on tv
sayin you never thought it could happen to you
cuz it can
and it does
and it might

how much you'd miss him
and you wouldn't care
just keep the door open
and have him be there

he just wants to be near you
and it really doesn't matter
does it?


i've learned how to live
when i'd rather die
but can't even begin to think like you
or judge how you struggle
now i can see
why all of my life i got along better
with men.
most don't hide knives
to stab you when you think you're safe
they say it to your face
and don't have time for trivial pursuits


im not so loving
im not forgiving
im not accepting
and not bullshitting


but i learned holding on to it all
just gives me more of a burden to haul

even if i cant forgive
i have to let go
and the freedom from that
is the lightest i know

i went to the library today
where they help prepare taxes
on poverty day.
she looked at my papers and just kept repeating
this is all?
this is it?
where's the rest?
i looked her dead in the eye and said
we're poor, ok?
we are poor and that's it.


so yeh i got 'tude
and it comes from
you
you're rude
i lost my filter
and don't give a fuck
if i offend you
i even pee in the men's room
if the ladies is full
i don't care where i pee as long as its not on me

raisin these kids
carryin groceries on the bus
bein homeless with babies
and going to school
i know how it feels to have no one there
no one who cares

only one when they're sick
only one cause dad's a dick
or he blew his head off
or drank himself to death
and the kids don't blame them
they blame me
cause he pulled the trigger
or walked out on me.

i don't find find hysterics in poo
but i see a dumb ass
are you smart enough to?

(c) copyright donna maysack