I didn't lose my libido, I lost my erection.
I may have irregular periods, but maintain fairly regular mood swings.
I didn't lose my hair, it just grows on my tits now.
Sleep disorders, just send it back, I didn't order dis.
Fatigue, uh huh.
It's not difficulty concentrating,
Memory lapses, I forgot to swim.
One girl's dizzy, is another's Xanax.
Weight gain is a good reason to shop.
It's a tough shit life.
Irritability isn't a symptom, it's my personality.
Panic disorder, have you seen my tits?!
No digestive problem, I just need a napkin.
Burning tongue, musta been those Chingalingas.
Heart palpitations? See what I mean? Mine's beat.
(c) copyright donna maysack 2013
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18 comments:
couldn't have said it better myself! I can relate to all of it! Aging, menopause, husband, (and the exes), kids, stepkids, husband, stepkids, husband, his frkn ruptured appendix. I hate getting old. I hate Menopause...I pretty much hate everything right now.
I was just thinking about how I can't blame PMS for my attitude, so I have to blame something else.
Yep, this is a menopausal perspective alright, been there. “Amazingly enough, I don’t give a shit,” that’s the way to go!
Haven't gone through Menopause yet, but looking forward to it. I like a little crazy in my life!
Great post
Wow! Those boobs made me feel like my hanging, empty milk-sacks are just fine. Thanks!!!!
I'm confused about the first line. I hadn't previously associated a loss of erection with the menopause, and why isn't it called womenopause?
So you do have big tits? As you might expect, I prefer them hairy.
jp, I have erectile dysfunction because there's none around and I think that's just dysfunctional. It pauses the essence of womanhood, our clits.
I guess I could change my name to your doctors ex wife.
Lynn you can blame me, my kids do.
JersyLil, yeah, it's so freeing.
Bad Word, Ya don't really go through, ya kind of stop, drop and roll.
Oh Gorilla, wouldn't coconuts suffice?
Jeeesus! And I was ready to slash my wrist over the 2 hairs that have suddenly appeared on my left boob. Finding grey hairs on my lady garden was traumatic enough!
Lily, Keep that razor to shave rather than slit. You're gonna need it. Menopause just another word for you were fucked, now you're not.
I went through menopause when I started chemo so I really never had any excess hair.. Um anywhere! I missed all of this fun stuff! :p
h MiMI you are the fun stuff.
Mama, you already KNOW I've got pretty much ALL of these symptoms...well, except for hairy tits. They've just gotten bigger over the years and I'm tired of hauling them around. Don't suppose it would be because of all those Moijitos and chocolate chip cookies I've been stuffing down my throat to combat the anxiety and depression, is it??? Love your posts--ahhh, to climb inside your brain for a day....
Oh mama, if chocolate gave ya tits I'd could wear a sheet and sleep everywhere I went.
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